Aaaaah you're on tumblr that's awesome. I don't know if you remember me but I'm the Cantiarchs Hold lass from Empire, who wears the Red wig and has the shaved Cambian horns. Just thought I would say hey ^-^


I was on tumblr and then I moved my entire blog to wordpress a few weeks ago - - I’m sure there must be a way to make it auto post across but I’ve not figured it out yet!

You’re a photography student? That’s cool. Where are you studying?

Nomnomnom. For shooting Empire this weekend. #film #velvia #empirelrp

On new addictions.

This blog was never going to be entirely about photography, because I’m so much more than a person who takes photos. Especially now as I’m on the cusp of starting at university in just over a weeks time.

And this post is about running. Expect to see quite a few more running and other sports posts in the future.

I’ve always been into sports. Water polo primarily, but I’ve dabbled in others over the last ten years. But I’ve never really been ‘fit’, as in cardiovascular-fit. Running too has always been a bit hopeless, I’ve just never been able to do it. I’ve always wanted to run, but never managed more than a single km in a setting really.

Back in March I had a car accident (it was really dumb and all my own fault) which really changed things for me. From what I can work out, as I hit the telegraph pole I also hit the top of my thigh on the underside of the steering wheel. This crushed my quadricep and actually split it across the muscle, almost from side to side.

Thankfully in June I met this wonderful physio (if you’re reading this, I think you’re awesome and I owe you everything even though you’ve seen all my cellulite in glorious close up detail) who put me through the most excruciating sports massages on a weekly basis. The truth is, I lost all confidence in my ability to do any sport at all because everything hurt. Even driving my car hurt.

But anyway, he told me to go out for a little run, and so I did, and you know what, I did over 3km without stopping. Such determination to fix my quadricep made me forget about the fact that I felt like I might die from a heart attack.

And the turning point was seeing a meme on the internet. It said something like 'I run because I can. When I get tired I remember those that can't run and what they would give for this gift I take for granted and I run harder. Because I know they would do the same for me.' And I thought you know what, I sit around and I make too many excuses. I’ve got a bad quad. I’ve got chronic reoccurring tendonitis. I’m unfit. My heart is weak. My legs are short. But you know, there are people in the world that don’t have what I have and I should really be better at making the most of it.

I’m never going to be an excellent runner. My legs really are too short and my lever lengths are all wrong. There’s a reason I’m really good at powerlifting and a reason I’m not very good at running. But you know what? All that water polo experience, I can apply that to swimming. Water sports have always been my thing. And everyone is the same size on a bike, and weighing under 50kgs has to be in my favour there. Much less fat ass to drag round a hilly course. You start breaking down a triathlon into it’s parts and you begin to think to yourself, well maybe I can actually do this thing. So that’s it, I’m going to do this thing.

The huge motivation though has been using Strava. It’s a very simple concept, you carry a GPS on your runs and rides and it records your route. In minute, excruciating detail. I can actually see myself progress, because it tells me. Today I beat my personal best on both my two mile time AND my 5km time. And tomorrow I have a new goal that I’ve come up with on the fly for my run. For a stat-queen like myself, it’s incredible. And hey, I can even embed it here. Follow me y’all.

I’m not sure where I was going with this post. It was formulated an awful lot better at around about 3.5km somewhere up the A40 this morning. Anyway, if you follow me, expect more of this shit. I’m going to try to be a bit better at putting long posts like this on here instead of Faceache.

Amanda Palmer - Screw you Daily Mail (and the Art of Asking)

When I saw this link on Facebook today featuring Amanda Palmers rather fabulous little ditty to the Daily Mail I had to help it on it’s way to becoming viral. I (like many other people) am fed up of people writing about shaming women’s bodies without a mention of their achievements. But Amanda Palmer fought back. Respect. I think I agree with every single one of her words.

But then I started to investigate her. First I decided that I really rather liked her music. No surprise, I used to like the Dresden Dolls but I hadn’t put two and two together.

And then I stumbled on this TED talk. Just watch.

This woman is fearless. And brave. But mostly fearless.

I tried an experiment a while ago in a blog post on here. I asked for money from those who enjoy my work to cover my petrol expenses and stuff. You see I go to Empire for fun, to enjoy photographing the spectacle. I don’t charge to go there and take pictures, but I do go to try and make peoples experiences a little better. Because that’s what being an artist or a musician is all about, right? It’s about making peoples lives better by doing what you love.

Some friends were sceptical. They didn’t think anything would come of it and in all honesty, I think that they thought I was slightly nuts for asking.

But you know what? From that blog post I was given my petrol money for the next event by a couple of people. I was touched, actually I think I cried a couple of times when a few little Paypal payments dropped into my account. (Thanks guys, I try to cultivate an image of being tough…).

I’ve been doing this donation thing for a long time in a few guises. I photographed my first wedding for a couple of friends of my mums many years ago, asking them to just give me what they thought the pictures were worth. I was pleasantly surprised by the cheque I got after I sent them what I’d shot.

And moments like this remind me that there is still some humanity left in the world. People reaching out to others because they care. It’s important that we do this, that we reach out to others. It’s how we remember how very human we are. And fragile. But sometimes fearless.

Since I shot at the first Empire event I’ve been considering putting a book together containing my photography from the year of events. I’d toyed with putting it on kickstarter and trying to raise funds for an exhibition as well. I still wasn’t sure about doing it to be honest, because I’m just not sure that it would get the support.

But you know what, maybe this is the way forward for the arts. Amanda Palmer raised over a million dollars for her new music release on kickstarter. And yes, I’m going to shamelessly steal her placard idea, although I also saw Matt Smith do it the other day for a Doctor Who thang, so perhaps that makes me just a trendy hipster.

I’ve always wanted to make a book full of my work. I’d love for people to have it on their bookcase, where they look back at it every now and again and remember all the awesome times they had. Because that’s what photography is about, it’s about telling stories and capturing moments. But mostly it’s about telling stories. And in the context of LRP it’s about prompting others to tell stories.

I love taking pictures. I don’t really want to have to force people to pay for my work. I love sending it out into the world to try and make people happy. But I’m terrible at asking for money. I even hate sending out 30, 60 and even 90 day reminders to clients who aren’t paying me. I guess we all just have to be a little bit better at asking.

Marginalisation and African Art

Marginalisation of individuals is something that is close to my heart for lots of reasons. I particularly love studying marginalisation in art and mostly it’s nice to think that we’ve started to conquer lots of problems that have been around in the past.

However we’re still not there on so many levels. I mean, there’s a massive gulf in the numbers of women and male artists in top galleries, both exhibiting and working in academic positions. But today, I don’t want to talk about womens rights, or be a shouty feminist.

Today I want to talk about the Tate Modern and the celebration of Africa that they’re having there at the moment. African art has always been marginalised. It came to the forefront when the Cubists and some other Modern Artists found it and thought it was cute, they used it as inspiration in a slightly patronising way.

The Western world also has a long history of treating African Art as craft and not deeming it worthy of the social status of Art. However huge inroads are being made in this area, not least of which by the British Museum in the beautiful and contempory way that they’re exhibiting the Benin Bronzes in the Africa galleries. This is massively due to the new feminist approaches to art history that were established in the 1970’s and it’s the route that I’m choosing to pursue with my studies.

But just watch this video. This guy is such an inspiration. He identified a problem - there were no spaces available to show contemporary African Art in the west. People just weren’t interested if it wasn’t cute craft. So he went out there and he found a space - at the Tate Modern of all places. And back at home he realised there was no Art education and you could not get hold of study materials, so he has established his own Art library. Just wow.

More people like this in the world please, who have a dream and make it happen.

Pompeii Live from the British Museum

For an event that reached out across the country, this was spectacular. The British Museums latest blockbuster exhibition showing in cinemas closer to home, giving people the experience of a talk by the experts. Except, well, it wasn’t.

There were some experts. But there was also a chef and a gardener. I get that the point was to drive home how these were just normal people who did stuff like cooking and gardening, but honestly it felt like the whole programme had been dumbed down. Even Mary Beard felt like she’d somehow been gagged and it was like she was talking to an audience of ten year olds.

Except she wasn’t talking to an audience of ten year olds, she was talking to an audience where the average age was somewhere around 70. Certainly in my local cinema anyway. I felt disheartened to be very much the odd one out, and at nearly thirty I am hardly young. While I understand that the average fine art and architectural society does attract people of retirement age due to the meetings being during the working day (chicken or egg?) where was the outreach to the art and history lovers that are still of working age?

I have been to plenty of curator talks, artist talks, expert talks over the last few years at places like the British Museum, the Tate, the Tate Modern, the Photographers Gallery and so forth. In fact, it’s easily one of my favourite ways to pass an evening or a weekend. I enjoy nothing more than hearing a lecture given by an expert, or even a first reading of an academic paper. Perhaps I had expected this kind of level of academia from the Pompeii Live event. Especially with the cost being quite high for what was a broadcast rather than being there in person (£11 for my student ticket, I had debated if I should go or not at that cost).

But there was no real hard information in the presentation. There was much oohing and aahing over beautiful things (and yes, the things are very beautiful, I was lucky enough to see many in person) but the level of discourse was that of something around a school year seven or eight history lesson. Except the bit of course where we all had a jolly good laugh about the amount of penis iconography that the Romans like to string up everywhere (suddenly I felt like I was in a room of thirteen year olds being given the tampon talk at school).

I don’t know. It just felt like very little effort had been put into the whole presentation. Compared to the talks, lectures and presentations that I know the British Museum is more than capable of giving I felt deflated. To be honest I just expected better and I was very disappointed at the average age of the audience. Did the British Museum even attempt to market this to anyone outside of a fine art and archeology club?

I’m pleased that they’re trying new things and bringing history and culture to the wider nation who cannot make London on a regular basis, but compared to the work that they already do it just felt like a gimmick.

Here’s hoping that the next one is an improvement, because I think this is broadly a step in the right direction, although to be honest I’m wishing I spent my £11 (plus car park and coffee) on a ticket to London to see the real thing.

I’ve finally got around to working on the images from Empire for my own portfolio. I set out with the goal of producing cinematic imagery and I’m generally heavily inspired by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez (creators of Grindhouse amongst others). I love their grainy, imperfect look that they employ, the washed out colours of old film and the awkward framing.

Why Dove’s “Real Beauty Sketches” Video Makes Me Uncomfortable… and Kind of Makes Me Angry


So this video started going around my facebook today, with about a dozen of my female friends sharing the link with comments like, and “Everyone needs to see this”, and “All girls should watch this,” and “This made me cry.” And I’m not trying to shame those girls! I definitely understand why they would do so. And I don’t want to be a killjoy. But as I clicked the link and started watching the video, I started to feel a slight sense of discomfort. I couldn’t put my finger on why that was, exactly, but it continued throughout the whole thing. After watching the video several more times, I have some thoughts… 

Read More

I don’t go in for re-blogs too often, but this one is kind of important.

Empire 2 - The Planning. (And my Dad).

So, there is much planning is in the works for my Empire 2 adventure. We’re going to be better organised this time and get SO MANY character portraits shot. Of everyone, if everyone can work with us (and hopefully they will). That’s got to be in the region of 1000+ portraits over the course of the long weekend, which is a challenge for everyone. I can’t help wondering what they’d all look like put together as a year book. Bloody fabulous I reckon.

And I’m keeping a diary of as many player events going on that I can find out about. People have really run with this one and the photography team have been getting all kinds of invites to things that players are organising. It’s rather exciting really and it excites me that the players want us to be involved in their game.

I’ve been batting about ideas for projects too and I’m also getting quite excited about these as well. For a long time I’ve not been very enthusiastic about my personal photography work, I sort of hit a wall with it and just burnt out. But I’ve been searching for a project to get my teeth into for a while and I think this might be it. I’m curious about photographing the game and writing an essay to go alongside the selected images (I’m also a wannabe art historian) and then producing it into some kind of book. It seems like an interesting project and things seem to be coming together in my head (including a chapter entitled ‘The Pale Horse’, which I reckon will be rather good).

So there was something else I wanted to share, and that’s a test shot I took for the character portraits. It’s my Dad, and I’ve never photographed my Dad before. And I realised that I should photograph him more. I never photograph the people that are close to me and I probably should. And you know what? I’m really pleased with it as a simple portrait.

LRP: Maybe I did it right.

So the first Empire event came and went. I went, I took photos, I got exceedingly cold and I managed to avoid most of the mud (four season leather boots - if you don’t have them you’re nucking futs). Things were learnt, mistakes were made.

Before the event I was apprehensive. Most of the photos available on the net from LRP events are from compact cameras that people have shot mid event. They’re a record of their memories and rarely intended to be anything more. It’s hard to get an idea from this kind of imagery what you should expect as someone with a more ‘serious’ interest in photography. I’ll be honest, I was expecting to shoot nothing that rated much better than ‘mediocre’ as the conditions are far from ideal. Wintery, scrubby woodland. Dull winter light. No ability to coordinate anyone. Basically, a photographers nightmare.

However I decided to embrace the challenge and I’m glad I did! The main photo sets are available on my Facebook page:

Saturday -
Sunday -
Monday -

But I’d like to include in this post some of my selects, which I’ll add at the bottom. I even got out at shot right into the evening which was challenging, but a couple of my favourite shots have come from that time of day! I just love all the atmospheric grain, I know that lots of people try to avoid it… but…

Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about was the feedback I’ve had from the people at the event. I never expected to be embraced so completely by so many people at an event and hobby I know nothing about! I think in less than a week I’ve had over 500 comments and ‘likes’ on my pictures. Put it this way, I had so many that I had to turn off the alerts on my Facebook Pages app because it drained my iPhone battery. It’s totally overwhelming!

I’ve been invited for dinner at several camps at the next event too, which is just heartwarming in so many ways. I’m going to try and arrange something, but if you’ve invited me and I don’t make it I’m truly sorry. Next event is promising to be busier than the last one for me so I might not make it around to see you (although I will happily accept deliveries of vegetarian yummies to my seat in GOD, and of course, flat white coffees from Applebys are a fantastic token of appreciation). I jest about the gifts of course, the PD team kept me well fed last time.

But it’s the messages that I’ve got that are the most wonderful. I’m up to at least a dozen strangers that have messaged me to thank me. Saying things that vary from ‘I’ve never had a good photograph taken of me before’ to ‘these are the best LRP photos I’ve seen’. I even got reblogged here! And truly, this is the reason that I do photography.

You see I love taking pictures. And I love photography. But more than anything I just want there there to be more great pictures in the world. We live in a sea of image mediocrity, and while that has a certain intellectual value to the history of art, everyone deserves to have great pictures of themselves on a social level.

So here we are, some of my favourite moments from the weekend. (There’s quite a few, I promise they’re all worth it.)















I know this is the totally shitty bit of the post. You see, I do this LRP photography for fun. But being a freelance photographer, journalist and student I’m pretty bloody skint most of the time. If you liked my pictures (perhaps you used them as your Facebook profile picture, or you sent them to your Nan in New Zealand) then I’d really appreciate it if you would consider contributing a couple of Barbarian Notes to the kit maintenance and petrol fund. Unfortunately every photograph I take of you guys adds wear and tear to my cameras and lenses and over time it does add up. But every little helps, and if by some miracle I make millions from this little appeal I’ll donate it to help endangered LRPers in dire need or something. <3

LRP: I think I’m doing it wrong.

An invitation to photograph at a LRP event. (That’s Live-action Role Playing to those of you, like me, that are not in the know on this one). ‘Awesome’ I thought, ‘a chance to shoot some epic cinematic scenes’. I love cinematic. Especially lo-fi Tarantino style cinematic so it sounds right up my street.

And then came the other bit of the invitation. ‘You’ll have to be in costume’.

Um, ok. This shouldn’t be too hard, should it? I mean I had a tailor and a seamstress in the family and my other grandmother taught me to sew as a child. I even got a place at the London College of Fashion on their tailoring course when I was 18, so I must have some mad skillz tucked away somewhere. It’s a long time though since I worked with the Nomadic Players as their technical director, both lighting them dressing them all in costume, and to be honest to fit with the Nomads tradition, most of that was always a last minute bodge on a serious budget anyway.

So I have been watching classics and epics and last week I even had a Lord of The Rings marathon while I consumed inhuman amounts of pizza and fizzy drinks in bed (what’s an unemployed girl to do?), I’m recalling pleasant memories of Sharpe and all the excellent camera work that always goes with these series.

But of course, I can’t direct people who are in character. A thought that didn’t really dawn on me until a day or two ago. There’s no ‘could you just step to the left, into the light a little?’ while someone is roleplaying, I’m going to have to go with what I’ve got on the fly.

I mean I’m taking my lights and I’m hoping I’ll find some eager bodies to shoot something interesting with in the mornings before time in, but other than that, I’ve got to kind of hope that the people with the awesome costumes are all congregating in one place and roleplaying in the right light to make great shots. This is so far out of my comfort zone that I can’t even SEE the zone anymore. You see, I like glamour. I like finding a hot model, I like getting him into position, then spending half an hour playing with a light to make him look as wonderful as possible. I don’t really DO off the cuff shooting.

Oh and the costume? I look like a hobbit. I challenge anyone who is as short as me to wear a cloak and not look like a hobbit. However I do have rather cool boots that are a Vivienne Westwood ripoff. Who said that Medieval chicks can’t be stylish? Of course the other problem is that when searching for costuming inspiration is that most women who LRP seem to be based in hot places, where the objective is to show as much skin and be as much of a sexy tavern wench as possible. That’s not going to happen. It’s going to be -3 this Easter weekend, there will be no flesh on show other than my eyes.

I mean literally, I’ve taken some Arabic clothing as inspiration here. I figure I don’t have to be from one of the lands that are represented in the game (in fact I’d rather prefer it if people didn’t mistake me for one of their own and actually talk to me, expecting me to roleplay back), so I’m a bit of a ‘foreign foreigner’ as the games designer puts it. Under my extremely heavy and thick woollen riding cloak (it’s actually based on a Roman riding cloak design - so shoot me) I’m wearing a Hijab inspired headdress (picked up from those long travels on the spice route equivilent, of course) mostly to keep me warm. I’m theorising that anything covering my head, mouth and nose is a bonus in these times, but alternatively I can just wear it as a face covering in the style of a Ranger. And hareem trousers. Oh thank the Lord for hareem trousers - you can hide a whole load of lycra base layers under those. But I’m topping it with an English inspired peasants padded jerkin. It’s not quite finished yet, but for the summer events when I actually remove my warm cloak, it’s going to have corsetry detailing built in to the back, as would be fitting for a seriously cool female rogue (but I really couldn’t find time to insert around 50 eyelets by hand over the last two days). I’m sure someone will take a picture of me this weekend, although the more I think about it, the more bizarre and unfitting my outfit sounds. I’ve just sort of gone ‘I WANT TO MAKE COOL SHIT’ and not thought about it too much more.

Of course this surely all goes to pot when you consider that for most of the weekend I’m going to have a 400mm, shiny white lens hanging off my neck. So however much effort I make, there’s only so much you can do about the fact that you’re a photographer attending a roleplaying event. Unless I roleplay an artist from faraway lands who makes pictures with a magical black box. I hope everyone has a good imagination…

I like this. I like making things and I like taking pictures. It seems to fit together well. And so far, I’m enjoying that. But I may change my mind after four days sleeping in a tent below freezing.


  • You’re completely used to having to look up to carry on a conversation.
  • You’ve literally been stepped ON before.
  • You make a very convenient armrest for rowers when standing.
  • Eight men in spandex do everything you tell them to every morning.
  • You feel an urge to yell “WEIGH ‘NUFF!” when you…

(via blueeyedcoxie-deactivated201311)

Suspected INTJ Tendencies

I love nothing more than a good bit of quizzing and self diagnosis on the internet. So this post is to be taken entirely with a huge pinch of salt. ;-)

Typology has always appealed to me. I love nothing more than putting things in boxes, moving the boxes around, taking everything out and then putting everything back into the boxes in a different way. Finding relationships in things is one of the reasons I love art history, the endless ways of categorising things is just utterly compelling. Picking things apart and working out why they fit in certain categories is somewhat sadly something that can take me occupied for hours.

Carl Jung also appeared to be a bit obsessed with sticking things into boxes. Or rather he was obsessed with sticking personalities into boxes. And I find his logical thinking on personalities fascinating. After much reading and analysing, I have self diagnosed myself as INTJ. Not the most unusual personality type, but certainly one of the most awkward which suits me down to the ground. So with that in mind, here’s what you need to know about me with respect to my personality type.

  • I am logical. I think things through rationally before I do something. I look at things from different points of view. I think about what could happen for each option I could take. If I have made a decision you can be sure that I have considered everything.
  • I am confident in my abilities. Many people mistake this for arrogance. I know what I am good at and I play to those strengths. It isn’t arrogance it’s a high level of awareness of how ‘good’ I am in relation to others. If I tell you that I can do something, then I know that I can. If I am a little unsure about something, I will do my best to manage your expectations and set myself up to exceed them.
  • I can seem insensitive. I guess I am really. Emotions seem quite trivial to me. They don’t have a rational explanation so I struggle with them. I often don’t realise if someone is trying to tell me something unless they actually come out and tell me. Even then I’m a bit of an emotional retard so if you’re looking for sympathy or support I’m often not the best person unless you’re in my inner circle. Which leads me to…
  • I don’t have many friends. However I don’t see this as a problem. I would prefer to surround myself with a couple of very close friends who really understand me than a wider circle of people that I struggle with. However the upside is that if you make it into my inner circle then you’re unlikely to ever leave. And I don’t need much maintenance, if you don’t talk to me for a few months I won’t be upset or offended and I’ll pick up right we left off.
  • But I can cut you out. Just like that. I have no issues with severing friendships that are bad for me. Once I realise that they are a negative influence in my life, they are gone. But I will spend an awful lot of time analysing that decision both before and after, it will be constantly on my mind for a very long time.
  • I value intelligence. I believe I am a reasonably intelligent person. My friends are all of at least the same level of intelligence to me. People who aren’t as intelligent as me will bore me. I need people to understand the abstract way that I think and it will irritate me if I have to keep stopping to let someone catch up. Back to the arrogance thing here.
  • My humour has less moisture than the Sahara. (I shamelessly stole that from Si - you see, I’m not adverse to utilising other peoples better ideas!) If you don’t understand what I’m saying, I’m most likely insulting you because I don’t think you can keep up.
  • I always believe I am right. Because I am almost all of the time. And I am usually right because I spend time coming to my conclusion. However if you can prove that I am wrong I will willingly accept it. But prove it to me logically.

If you’re working with me on a project or are working with me in some other way, there’s a few things you should know in addition to the above.

  • I am an excellent strategist. It’s what makes me good at logistics. I can conceptually plan logistics on the fly without putting pen to paper. I can do this because I remember things. Remembering things means that I have a huge library to draw from and adapt to new situations. For my specialist subjects I have a near photographic memory (which is additionally a great trait for an art historian).
  • I value competency. If I think you are incompetent, you won’t get the best out of me. Prove you can do your job and I will do mine. I have no respect for given authority, it must be earned.
  • I detest routine. I see no point in doing repetitive tasks that can be automated. It’s why you’ll find endless folders of email templates stashed away on my computer. It’s also why I am reasonably fluent in seemingly irrelevant skills like formulating spreadsheets. I am inherently lazy in many respects and I will do anything in order to make my workflow easier.
  • I don’t care if that’s how you’ve always done it. Seriously. Never tell me that. Ever. I might punch you. If there is a better way to do something, we will do it that way.
  • If I’m not contributing ideas, it’s highly unlikely that I don’t have any. You see, if I don’t think you’re intelligent enough to reconsider your ideas if proven wrong, I just won’t bother telling you. If I’m talking, it’s because I respect you and I believe that you respect me. It’s when I shut up that you have to worry.
  • I’m not into office gossip. Additionally, I loathe those who have got where they are because they are social butterflies. Skill and success are the language I understand. If I feel you’ve done the more civilised version of sleeping your way to the top, I will have zero respect for you.
  • I love a challenge. Seriously. Go ahead. Come up with something you think that no one else can do and I’ll have a go. And I don’t like failing so I’ll probably do it pretty well.
  • I have high standards. This sums me up in every part of my life. I hold myself to the highest standards and I expect others to hold themselves to my standards too. I will work extraordinarily hard if I need to in order to get things done to my own standards. It won’t be unusual for me to work many extra hours, but I’m unlikely to tell you that’s what I’ve done because I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing the same.
  • I’m not very good at giving praise. Because I don’t need it myself.

It’s worth mentioning my weakness’, although I believe that many are positives.

  • I value personal space. It’s why I have no desire to get back into a heavily committed relationship and I’m happy seeing people who see others. I want commitment, just not too much of it, you know?
  • Everything always needs improving. I’m never happy. Never. I always have to try and make things better which can make things complicated.
  • I don’t do emotions. Honestly, I’m really bad at them. And when I try to do them I pitch them at the wrong level, especially when I’m stressed. If I make some big emotional faux pas, it’s really not my fault. Please don’t cry on me, I am truly an emotional retard. But I do love to feel loved.

So yeah. That’s the quick guide to me. Although in true INTJ style I couldn’t be happy with just a quick guide and had to go into rather extreme amounts of detail.

I love pigeonholing shit.

#A226 study day!

I’ll be your mirror

"I used to think I couldn’t lose anyone if I photographed them enough… In fact, they show me how much I’ve lost." - Nan Goldin

I think it’s utterly fascinating how Nan Goldin’s cutting edge style that was so revolutionary in the 1970’s has kept it’s edge and still feels so new and crisp now, 40 years later. To be honest, the only way of recognising that many of these are not modern images is the slightly dated consume and style of the characters within the scenes.

Goldin was arguably one of the biggest champions of the snapshot aesthetic within photography and had been one of the largest driving forces behind it’s rise to popularity. Neither a photographer or some might say even an artist, Goldin documented her friends and those that she spent time around. Almost the equivalent of a modern day social media addict, except film was her medium and her galleries were projections in clubs rather than Facebook.

Her images have a voyeuristic pleasure gained from examining strangers private lives. Susan Sontag said that in it’s voyeurism, photography levels all events to the same status. We usually see the images outside of their contextual framework which can lead to a disassociation from the subject matter, but Goldin originally showed her work with thematic structure revolving around subjects such as couples, gender roles and orientation. An early campaigner for sexual equality, if you will. Undoubtedly feminist although I’m not sure if she applied the label to herself.

But on a personal level what I enjoy about her work is the bravery that the images demonstrate and a desperate need to cling to memories. Almost a compulsive desire to document in case she forgot a detail. Sontag also said that photography is practiced by most not as an art, but as a way to reaffirm how we feel about those we have relationships with. The resulting images prove that the events happened and the people existed. This is demonstrated so clearly in Goldin’s work.

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